comfort, in the quiet of the night
by officialelsanna
Summary: Elsa can't sleep. Anna makes it easier.


It had been a year since the eternal winter incident, and Elsa still didn't sleep well at night. Nightmares haunted her as they had for a good portion of her life. She sat up in bed, and had forgotten for a moment that Anna lay beside her, quiet and restful. Their budding relationship hadn't been interrupted by much as of yet, possibly because lots of people didn't know yet.

A social taboo, to be sure, but Elsa was happier than she'd been in her life. She loved Anna more than anything, in more ways than she had when they were younger. There wasn't a problem with it, except when Elsa didn't want to disturb her while they slept.

She turned over to look at Anna as she slept. She reached out and drew her hand slowly over Anna's side, admiring the curve of her shoulder to her side to her hips to her thighs. She liked it, looking at her in a way she wasn't allowed to before. Being able to enjoy looking at her. The soft fire of her hair and the spot where the white streak used to be was gone.

The white streak. Wrong thought.

Elsa's breath broke for a moment and she couldn't breathe. Shooting Anna with ice, not just once, but a second time. Filling her love's head and heart with ice and there was nothing she could possibly do about it. Hurting her and being shut away because of it.

Conceal, don't feel. Don't. Feel.

The tears on her face froze and stayed there, little glass drops that dug into her face. The cold didn't bother her, but the uneven protrusions on her face bothered her, and she probably was irritating her face with them. She couldn't do anything about it without disturbing Anna's sleep. She couldn't hurt Anna more by waking her up now, no, no, no, no-

"Elsa? Why are you awake?"

Suddenly, Elsa was down to earth, looking over as Anna sleepily woke up and saw her sitting up next to in the bed. "I'm sorry, Anna, don't worry about me. Get back to sleep." Her hands were surrounded in a small cloud of ice and snow, just the smallest bit of magic sneaking through.

"No, it's okay, you can talk to me. Did you have a nightmare?" Anna sat up, rubbing her eyes and moving closer. One of her hands slipped around Elsa's back, finding its place on her hip on the other side. This position of sitting together was an old song and dance at this point.

Her breathing still hurt. Cold air went in and out of her throat faster than she could process the oxygen it provided. She was crying again and the tears froze on her face as she did.

"The winter. I couldn't prevent it. I hurt you, Anna, I hurt you. I hurt all of my kingdom. I can't even sleep through the night because I can't control my magic."

"Elsa, you can control your magic. You saved me with your love, you ended the winter with your love." Anna held her tighter, her other hand settling on Elsa's thigh, massaging back and forth comfortingly.

Elsa started moving away, but stopped herself and tried to take a deep breath. "I don't want to hurt you ever again."

Anna leaned over and kissed Elsa on the cheek, squeezing her with both her hands. "I know you won't. You would never hurt me. I've always known that. Every time has been an accident." She leaned her head into the crook of Elsa's neck.

The physical affection did a lot to calm Elsa down. She reached up to her face and wiped away the tears which had begun to melt again. She felt calmer, quieter, again. The voices in her head were still loud, but she was quieting them with Anna's help. Anna always helped. She still wished she hadn't woken her, but the best approach was to take things as they came.

She wrapped her arm around Anna as well, resting her head on the other's head, taking in the scent of her hair and the feeling of her soft hair. Everything about Anna was soft, while Elsa was all hard edges. She felt sharp and cold, but Anna was soft and sweet and warm. She was the luckiest woman in the world, and not just because she was the queen of a powerful and happy country.

"Just because Mom and Dad told you you had to hide your feelings doesn't make it true. I miss them, but they hurt you." Anna's voice was hardly above a whisper, barely making it to the air past the two of them cuddling on the bed.

And so the two of them sat there in silence for a little while.

"Anna, will you hold me so I can sleep?" Her hands were still shaking, though the air had again warmed around them. The cold was just in her, running along the surface of her skin.

"Mhm. I'm sleepy."

Elsa slowly pulled herself back down to the bed, turning on her side and shutting her eyes. She arranged her body in such a way that Anna could wrap herself around her. Arm under, arm over, legs folding between hers, and head moving up into her hair. They settled in this way, and she felt safer once again.

Anna was holding her as tightly as she could comfortably while still falling asleep. The soft shape of Anna's form against her back helped her fall back into sleep, and the feeling of her warm breath on her neck helped her keep far enough in reality to not drop immediately back into the realm of nightmares.

This time, when Elsa fell asleep, she dreamed instead of Anna. Rather than be stuck in the past, she was imagining a brighter future. A world in which the both of them were happy together, and they didn't have to worry about another winter covering the land, or at least an unnatural one.

She was okay with that.


End file.
